From never good enough to peace in your mind and body!
Learn to deal with perfectionism within 6 months, so that you get the peace and relaxation you so long for.
Is your work always done down to the last detail? Are you always willing to go the extra mile and work until you are truly satisfied? Do you always see what could be better?
Your colleagues are probably very happy with your perfectionism, but are you?
Does the following also apply to you?
You sometimes procrastinate endlessly and rarely relax
That critical voice in your head telling you what you still 'must do'.
You want to be in control. Sometimes you are called a control freak
Your head is always 'on' and you worry yourself silly
Emotions overwhelm you
It is never good enough
You make high demands on yourself
All these characteristics can point to perfectionism. If you overshoot the mark, it will have unpleasant consequences for your health, career and private life. Many of my clients feel like a walking head, experience eternal doubt, set the bar higher and higher for themselves and actually get quite tired of it.
All this causes you to get stuck at some point, so that:
- You are often exhausted, stressed or depressed. You have a short fuse.
- you have to do everything and no time to relax
- you are afraid of failing and being found out
- you are constantly 'on', busy in your head and have no overview anymore
- you have difficulty concentrating and forget things more easily
What happens if you keep going like this ... ?
Research shows that perfectionists suffer more than others from complaints such as fear of failure, underachievement, headaches, stress and have a higher risk of burn-out. In addition, they are more often dissatisfied with themselves, worry more and suffer under the pressure of endless to-do lists.
Fortunately, something can be done about it!
Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could experience peace in your head and body again? If you were satisfied with what you do and are? To be able to let go a bit more, so that you have time and energy for the things that are really important to you and learn to feel that you are completely okay the way you are. This way you will become the sunshine in the house again!
I myself got quite stuck in my perfectionism, which resulted in me not daring to do anything and procrastinating endlessly. I would have preferred to study psychology, but there was supposedly no serious money to be made with that, so I opted for law. Sixes were not enough for me; I had to get at least an 8. For years, I postponed everything out of fear of not being good enough and I got completely stuck when I had to perform. I couldn't sleep because of all the worrying and eventually I was really exhausted.
Of course, asking for help or giving up was not an option. For me, this felt like the ultimate failure. Moreover, I was afraid of what those around me would think if I stopped. So I kept forcing myself and withdrew more and more. I felt trapped in my own perfect cage.
Do not continue like this
After years of studying law, burnt out and dead unhappy, I made the choice to stop and follow my heart. I changed course, started working abroad and have now completed two bachelor's degrees and a coach course. I am proud of myself for having achieved this!
During my journey of change, I confronted myself and my patterns and discovered why I and so many others get stuck in perfectionism. But also how you can get out of it when you are ready to fight with your limiting patterns and beliefs.
Instead of studying with burn-out symptoms, I now dive into the books with pleasure. I have learned that I am completely okay just the way I am, I have discovered peace within myself, I experience more connection with others and I enjoy my work intensely. I wish the same for you! As a coach, I help you on your way from a full head to more peace, more energy and more fun.
Just imagine ...
That you would no longer be hindered by your perfectionism, but could let it work for you instead of against you?
I can help you with your perfectionism, so that you:
- Enjoy life again, both at work and at home
- recognises and guards boundaries
- save energy and time
- Have full confidence in yourself
- no longer having to do everything on your own
- feel connected to yourself and others. That makes everyone happy!
The conversations with Xandra were very helpful to me. Through the exercises I managed to get some rest and at the same time put my shoulders to the wheel to achieve my goals. It feels so good to make steps and to see progress. I can breathe again. Thanks a lot!
Bjorn la Tulippe, Style Director
Xandra is open, sincere and enthusiastic. This immediately created a safe environment where I felt I could say anything. Xandra feels well when you are in your head and with exercises she brought me back to rest and get back into the feeling. Thank you, Xandra, for your energy, passion for coaching, openness and honesty!
Felix Tan, business controller
With a course of action that was specially tailored to my situation, Xandra gave me the right tools to get out of a burn-out. With her help and perseverance I was able to find the energy to participate fully in life again.
Ivo Beek, data architect and entrepreneur
When I started the project with Xandra, I had been at home for some time due to a burn-out. I felt agitated, despondent and worried a lot.
After I had lost confidence in other therapists, I dared to open up with Xandra. With her I dared to be vulnerable and I had a good feeling with her, partly because she was open. It was also nice to speak with someone who is more my age.
The process was tough, but it is very pleasant to see progress. Xandra's approach is very personal. I felt seen and heard. I was really able to tackle the cause of my coaching question. Together we investigated at a deeper layer and did more than just look at the symptoms. The sessions were both physical and online and I have not noticed any difference between them.
In the meantime, I have gained many insights and found peace. I have got to know myself better; I know better what I like and live more according to my values. I listen to my feelings and body and can make choices more easily. I got off the express train and live more consciously. I can enjoy again and would definitely recommend coaching by Xandra!
When I started the coaching process with Xandra, I did not get much done and everything cost me a lot of energy. I did not know the cause of this. I had already tried everything and nothing helped.
The coaching gave me more insight into the causes, I know my pitfalls and patterns, and I was given tools to deal with them. I have much more energy and can tick off my to-do list again.
Thanks to the Voice Dialogue sessions with Xandra I recognise my 'selves' and I consciously give them space, or not. My biggest eye-opener is that I am a great pleaser. Through the coaching I am now more conscious of this. It is easier for me to say 'no' and to guard my limits. As a result, I experience more peace, both at home and at work.
It's nice to see that we have achieved so much in a relatively short time. The coaching has helped me a lot and I am very happy with that. Xandra, thank you for all your help!
Hidde, Finance Administrator
Read more about what others say:
Hi, I am Xandra van Merriënboer.
An open, sensitive and committed coach with a background in life coaching, high sensitivity (HSP) and secondary education. As a NOBCO coach, I am specialised in perfectionism, high sensitivity and stress. My coaching style can be described as sensitive, attentive, reflective and thorough.
I will help you deal with your perfectionism, overcome your burn-out and move towards less stress, so that you can finally have peace of mind and be successful and fulfilled at work and at home!
Are you curious about what I can do for you? Then schedule an appointment for an informal introductory meeting with me.