From never good enough to peace in your mind and body!

Learn to deal with perfectionism within 6 months, so that you get the peace and relaxation you so long for.

Is your work always done down to the last detail? Are you always willing to go the extra mile and work until you are truly satisfied? Do you always see what could be better?

Your colleagues are probably very happy with your perfectionism, but are you?

Does the following also apply to you?

You sometimes procrastinate endlessly and rarely relax

That critical voice in your head telling you what you still 'must do'.


You want to be in control of everything. Sometimes you get called a "control freak

Your head is always 'on' and you worry yourself silly

Emotions overwhelm you

It is never good enough

You make high demands on yourself

All these characteristics can point to perfectionism. If you overshoot the mark, it will have unpleasant consequences for your health, career and private life. Many of my clients feel like a walking head, experience eternal doubt, set the bar higher and higher for themselves and actually get quite tired of it.

Woman hangs over her desk in a state of exhaustion

All this causes you to get stuck at some point, so that:

  • You are often exhausted, stressed or depressed. You have a short fuse.
  • you have to do everything and no time to relax
  • you are afraid of failing and being found out
  • you are constantly 'on', busy in your head and have no overview anymore
  • you have difficulty concentrating and forget things more easily

What happens if you keep going like this ... ?

Research shows that perfectionists suffer more than others from complaints such as fear of failure, underachievement, headaches, stress and have a higher risk of burn-out. In addition, they are more often dissatisfied with themselves, worry more and suffer under the pressure of endless to-do lists.

Source: A mediational model of perfectionistic automatic thoughts and psychosomatic symptoms, Personality and Individual Differences, April 2012

Fortunately, something can be done about it!

Perfectionism is fear in really good shoes - Elizabeth Gilbert

Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could experience peace in your head and body again? If you were satisfied with what you do and are? To be able to let go a bit more, so that you have time and energy for the things that are really important to you and learn to feel that you are completely okay the way you are. This way you will become the sunshine in the house again!

Miss Perfect

I myself got quite stuck in my perfectionism, which resulted in me not daring to do anything and procrastinating endlessly. I would have preferred to study psychology, but there was supposedly no serious money to be made with that, so I opted for law. Sixes were not enough for me; I had to get at least an 8. For years, I postponed everything out of fear of not being good enough and I got completely stuck when I had to perform. I couldn't sleep because of all the worrying and eventually I was really exhausted.

Of course, asking for help or giving up was not an option. For me, this felt like the ultimate failure. Moreover, I was afraid of what those around me would think if I stopped. So I kept forcing myself and withdrew more and more. I felt trapped in my own perfect cage.

Woman climbs ladder to unknown high goal
Woman looks into the future with binoculars

Do not continue like this

After years of studying law, burnt out and dead unhappy, I made the choice to stop and follow my heart. I changed course, started working abroad and have now completed two bachelor's degrees and a coach course. I am proud of myself for having achieved this!

During my journey of change, I confronted myself and my patterns and discovered why I and so many others get stuck in perfectionism. But also how you can get out of it when you are ready to fight with your limiting patterns and beliefs.

Instead of studying with burn-out symptoms, I now dive into the books with pleasure. I have learned that I am completely okay just the way I am, I have discovered peace within myself, I experience more connection with others and I enjoy my work intensely. I wish the same for you! As a coach, I help you on your way from a full head to more peace, more energy and more fun.

Just imagine ...

That you would no longer be hindered by your perfectionism, but could let it work for you instead of against you?
I can help you with your perfectionism, so that you:

  • Enjoy life again, both at work and at home
  • recognises and guards boundaries
  • save energy and time
  • Have full confidence in yourself
  • no longer having to do everything on your own
  • feel connected to yourself and others. That makes everyone happy!
Perfectionism coach Xandra van Merrienboer
<strong class="ti-rating"> Uitstekend </strong>
Based on 15 reviews
Angelique Hook
Angelique Hook
The coaching program I followed with Xandra taught me to be kinder to myself, to get more in touch with my feelings instead of diving into the ratio and to create more peace and balance for and especially within myself. Thanks to Xandra's attentive, skillful and loving guidance I can look back on a very valuable program, from which I will benefit and enjoy for the rest of my life. I can recommend it to every perfectionist/hsp-er/stress chick who wants to go through life happier!
Richard Nieuwenhuizen
Richard Nieuwenhuizen
The process at XvM coaching helped me let go of the past and start living in the here and now again. After a skeptical period, given that I have been through several coaching programs in the past, I took the step on the advice of those around me, and in the end it was the best step I could have taken. XvM Coaching has really understood me during the program, gave me good tools and no longer only my thoughts, but also my feelings now have a prominent place in dealing with the challenges of life. I will continue to apply the techniques and proudly look back on a presentation I accomplished during the trajectory.
Dyonne van der Ven
Dyonne van der Ven
I experienced my coaching program as very pleasant. It was a bit intense at times, but Xandra always knew how to adapt the exercises where necessary and to reassure me. I noticed to myself that thanks to the coaching program I have made great strides regarding choice stress (and stress at all). I would definitely recommend Xandra.
Robin Ruissen
Robin Ruissen
A coach who listens to you, thinks with you, and is there for you when you need help. The combination of both online and now meeting on location gives a familiar but also nice homely feeling. She has ensured that we have achieved a lot in a short time. I have more peace of mind and a lot of clarity, thank you.
Monique Gram
Monique Gram
I went through an intense but enjoyable coaching process with the help of Xandra. All sessions (both live and online) are personally tailored on a weekly basis. As a coachee you have a lot of space to discuss what is on your mind at the moment and where you need help. Xandra gives good exercises and tools to help you further. In addition, if applicable, the HSP aspect is included in the process, which helped me to understand myself better. Finally, I want to add that Xandra is easily accessible, even now that I have completed the coaching program I can reach her via email or Whatsapp if I get stuck. Should you still have doubts; you could never come out of the program worse, especially with Xandra as your coach.
Angelique Vriens
Angelique Vriens
It is now almost a year since we came into contact with the coaching qualities of Xandra. We were diligently looking for a coach who could help our daughter with a very difficult phase in her young life. We are very grateful that Xandra was able to help her learn to let go and to take things less personally. The combination of Xandra's experience as a teacher and as HSP coach together with the challenges of our daughter proved very strong. In addition, it gave our daughter and us many insights into high sensitivity and what this really means. And how you can embrace this beautiful trait.
Vera Scheurkogel
Vera Scheurkogel
"Already during the first meeting I felt very comfortable. It was nice to feel that trust right away! I have received many handles. I can better guard my boundaries and I have become more compassionate towards myself. Now I take that moment to come to myself, am nicer to myself and have become more authentic. Coaching with Xandra I would recommend to everyone, but especially people who find it difficult to indicate boundaries, who struggle with perfectionism."
Gianmarco Nalin
Gianmarco Nalin
I had the chance to work with Xandra during my business English course. Xandra has been a wonderful teacher, always available to help whenever needed. Precise when providing corrections, it's been a pleasure improving my English with her.


The conversations with Xandra were very helpful to me. Through the exercises I managed to get some rest and at the same time put my shoulders to the wheel to achieve my goals. It feels so good to make steps and to see progress. I can breathe again. Thanks a lot!

Life coach client Bjorn la Tulippe

Bjorn la Tulippe, Style Director

Xandra is open, sincere and enthusiastic. This immediately created a safe environment where I felt I could say anything. Xandra feels well when you are in your head and with exercises she brought me back to rest and get back into the feeling. Thank you, Xandra, for your energy, passion for coaching, openness and honesty!

Life coach client Felix Tan

Felix Tan, business controller

With a course of action that was specially tailored to my situation, Xandra gave me the right tools to get out of a burn-out. With her help and perseverance I was able to find the energy to participate fully in life again.

Stress and burn-out recovery client Ivo Beek

Ivo Beek, data architect and entrepreneur

Coaching with Xandra I experienced as a clarification and relief. Xandra took the time and energy to achieve the desired result. The combination of face-to-face and online proved to be very pleasant. Because of the program I dare to express myself more, to take time for myself, I can deal with feelings more easily, give things a better place and get the rest I need.

Robin, Set Designer

When I entered the process with Xandra, I had been at home for some time due to burnout.

The course was tough, but it is very nice to see progression. Xandra's approach is very personal. Together we investigated at a deeper layer and did more than just look at the symptoms. The sessions were both physical and online and I have not noticed any difference between them.

I know better what I like and live more according to my values. I listen to my feelings and body and can make choices more easily. I got off the express train and live more consciously. I can enjoy again and would definitely recommend coaching by Xandra!

Christine, Journalist

Through the coaching, I gained insight into the causes of my energy deficits, know my pitfalls and patterns, and got tools to deal with them. I have much more energy and can tick off my to-do list again.

Thanks to the Voice Dialogue sessions with Xandra, I recognize my "selves" and consciously give them space or not. My biggest eye-opener is that I am a big pleaser. Because of the coaching I can say 'no' more easily and guard my boundaries. As a result I experience more peace, both privately and at work.

The coaching has helped me super much and I am very happy about that. Xandra, thank you for all the help!

Alwin, Finance Administrator

Read more about What others are saying about Xvm Coaching:

Hi, I am Xandra van Merriënboer.

An open, sensitive and committed coach with a background in life coaching, high sensitivity (HSP) and secondary education. As a NOBCO coach, I am specialised in perfectionism, high sensitivity and stress. My coaching style can be described as sensitive, attentive, reflective and thorough.

I help you deal with your perfectionism, overcome your burnout, discover the beautiful sides of high sensitivity and towards less stress, so that you can finally gain lasting peace of mind and have success and fulfillment at work and at home!

Xandra van Merriënboer, perfectionism and stress coach, burn out coach, life coach, hsp coach, high sensitivity

Are you curious about what I can do for you? Then schedule an appointment for an informal introductory meeting with me.