What others say about Xandra

Below you can read the reviews and experiences of coachees from my practice and trainings.

Coaching experiences

Angelique Hook, author

At the time of a burn-out I came in contact with Xandra. On the website of XvM Coaching I read that she described her coaching style as empathetic, attentive, mirroring and decisive and at our first meeting I noticed that this was not a word too many. During an extensive first 'deep-dive' she listened to what I was struggling with at that moment and what I wanted to achieve with the coaching program. These goals were clearly formulated, so that I knew exactly what I would be working on during my process. This felt very good to me, in a phase of my life where I had lost the overview.

The coaching process itself consisted of several sessions that alternated between online and on-site; for me a fine combination. Initially I was worried whether I would dare to open up enough during the sessions, but because of the safe setting Xandra created, this was not an obstacle. During the sessions, she used various techniques and exercises to work on the themes that were on my mind at that moment, but also outside the sessions she always provided me with new exercises, podcasts, book tips, in-depth information, etc., so that I could continue my development. The coach reports that I 'had' to write after each session also helped me to reflect, to realize what I had already achieved and what still needed attention.

A few months later I am enormously grateful for Xandra's skillful and loving guidance, which has really taught me to be kinder to myself, to get more in touch with my feelings instead of diving into the ratio and to create more peace and balance for and especially within myself. What a valuable program, from which I will benefit and enjoy a lot for the rest of my life. I can recommend it to every perfectionist / HSP / stress chicken who wants to go through life happier!

I was looking for a coach because I was constantly feeling restless, had no room in my head for relaxation and was getting irritated because things were not going the way I had planned. I had a constant feeling of having to be in control. I really didn't want this anymore! Actually I wanted to solve everything myself, but now I realize that I don't have to do it alone.

Xandra's approach is very person-centered. In the beginning that took some getting used to. The coaching was tailored per session to what was going on with me at that moment. It's good that you get a lot of techniques and can feel what works for you and what does not.

The coaching process was intense, but in a good way. I didn't expect the coaching to have so much impact.
I really liked that Xandra was always available to me via email or app. Because we saw each other weekly, I could no longer hide my feelings and we went deeper into the process.
Beforehand, I thought you are born with perfectionism, but have learned that it is a trauma response. So you can do something about it too!

I knew I wasn't really feeling my emotions, but that was kind of normal. Now I have insight into why I react in a certain way and can feel where it comes from. I choose to react differently and notice that my surroundings are also positively affected by my process. There is more space for the other and I also understand better what others experience. I also understand myself as an HSP much better now. I dare to set healthy boundaries, so that I can enjoy moments of relaxation. I can let things go, experience peace and am at peace with imperfection.

I give my coach and the coaching program a big 10!

Monique, nurse
HSP younger teen choice stress perfectionist
Dyonne, Scholar

In the beginning I did find it exciting to be coached, but that soon lessened. Xandra was always able to reassure me or calm me down when I felt tense. I really enjoyed the coaching.

I had a lot of trouble making choices and got very stressed. Was in my head a lot, but we worked on that together and I was able to get closer and closer to my feelings.

I found strong the way of handling and possibly modifying sessions and exercises so that they fit me well.

I learned to notice when I get overexcited and how best to deal with it. I also learned how to get to my feelings and how that helps in staying calm when making a choice.

Coaching has helped well and I am very happy about that.

Hi Xandra,

Thank you for another fine coaching session. I really appreciate your approach and am already noticing differences with before and after. 
Very nice!

Pleaser burnout hsp perfectionism
A., new participant 6-month coaching program 'Good as you are'

Robin, Set Designer

Coaching with Xandra I have experienced as a clarification and relief. I am now more relatable and have gained a better understanding of myself.

Stress and busyness caused me to block quickly. I got stuck in emotions and couldn't give it a place. Everything became too much. The knowledge and expertise about high sensitivity helped enormously. Now I can filter stimuli better and I take my rest sooner.

Before we started, I doubted for a while about the combination of online and face-to-face sessions, but this turned out to be a very good combination. The fact that part of it was from home, in my familiar surroundings and my own cocoon, actually added value.

I look back on the process in a positive way, because look at what we achieved in a relatively short time! It was very nice how quickly we could get started. The sessions were valuable, with a lot of understanding from Xandra. It was noticeable that she took the time and energy to achieve the desired result. When I talked over things, Xandra brought me back to the core with gentle confrontation. Because I could call on her in addition to our sessions, I realized "she really stands behind me when I need it!". This trust also allowed me to be more open.

The table arrangement exercise allowed me to look at my system of origin with a helicopter view and to see through and break patterns. Now I recognize my pleaser and take a step back in time.

I feel a lot more confident, can take time for myself more easily. I am more open, have more fun, can deal with feelings more easily and take the rest that is needed.

We entered into this coaching program because we ourselves no longer knew how to put a smile back on our 13-year-old daughter N.'s face. She was very tired and our feeling went towards despair. Even though the sessions cost her a lot of energy in the beginning, after the first appointment there was also immediate relief; "someone who knows what I feel!"

Because of the experience Xandra brings from different professions, such as teaching, she could very quickly place what was going on. Because she saw it for herself, N. did not have to explain everything. Finding the right words is already so difficult for adults and at that age it is even harder! 
Through coaching with Xandra, N. is able to let go of things faster, take things less personally, and has gained space in her head to laugh and relax again. We found the combination of online and face-to-face sessions very strong.

HSP has been the biggest eye-opener for both N. and us. Now that she has more knowledge about high sensitivity, she has gained more understanding for herself. She now has a sense of acceptance; "this is part of me and I need tools to deal with it". She has gone through the pain and made great strides. She has even made a paper about HSP!
N. now knows much better who she is. She has learned that she senses things and how she can deal with this characteristic. She has regained confidence in school and in her own abilities. N. gets much higher grades and did not even experience any stress during the test week. This was different before the coaching. She has also picked up her creative hobbies, she has more fun and there is room for a different career image. 

I would 100% recommend a coaching program with Xandra to others! Also and especially to young people and young adults, especially now that they struggle with so many things. Not everything has to be a struggle. You can ask for help! 

Angelique, Mother of N.

Vera Scheurkogel, Skin Therapist

Already during the first conversation I felt very comfortable. It was clear that Xandra would not judge me and I could talk freely. Nice to feel that bond of trust right away!

Through the coaching process I got to know myself in a different way. Because I know where things came from, I know how to deal with them. I am better at recognizing, acknowledging and acting upon them. I am also better at setting my own limits and I feel more peace in my body.
Nowadays I even notice that I can better guard my limits even in restless periods. I now live more for myself instead of the other. I have also become more compassionate towards myself. If I experience a lot of stimulation, I may take that moment to come to myself, so I have become sweeter to myself and more authentic. I stand up for myself more, I stand up for my abilities and I do what I stand for.

I got a lot of handles. The tools I received in addition to the sessions were very nice, such as podcasts, books and assignments by Brené Brown, among others. It felt playful.
I had a lot of eye-openers, but the biggest ones were the moments after Focusing & Sensen and Voice Dialogue: "Oooh, that's where this behavior or feeling comes from!". Now see how situations from the past have shaped me into who I am today. This has allowed me to distance myself from them and respond differently to situations.
Those around me also notice that I feel better in my own skin, that I set my boundaries in time and respectfully. That I communicate differently, so that they do too.
Furthermore, I recognize the different Vera's in myself. Opposite the Perfectionist, there is a Compassionate side and I am now consciously allowing it to come in more often.

Coaching by Xandra I would actually recommend to anyone, but especially people who find it difficult to indicate boundaries and who struggle with perfectionism. Annoying how it affects your life, while you can do so much about it. I would also recommend this program to people who have a high workload or are even facing burn-out. People who are open to becoming a better version of themselves.

When I started the coaching process with Xandra, I didn't get much done and everything cost me a lot of energy. I didn't know the cause of this; doctors said that I might have a burn-out. I had already tried everything and nothing helped.
The coaching gave me more insight into the causes of my complaints and I know my pitfalls and patterns, and I was given tools to deal with them. I have much more energy and can tick off (or downgrade) my to-do list again.

Thanks to the Voice Dialogue sessions with Xandra I recognise my "I's" and I consciously give them space, or not. My biggest eye-opener is that I am a real Pleaser. Through the coaching I am now more conscious of this. It is easier for me to say 'no' and to guard my limits. As a result, I experience more peace, both at home and at work.
It's nice to see that we have achieved so much in a relatively short time. The coaching has helped me a lot and I am very happy with that. Xandra, thank you for all your help!

Alwin, Finance Administrator

Alwin, Finance Administrator

Christine, Journalist

When I started the project with Xandra, I had been at home for some time due to a burn-out. I felt agitated, despondent and worried a lot.
After I had lost confidence in other therapists, I dared to open up with Xandra. With her I dared to be vulnerable and I had a good feeling with her, partly because she was open. It was also nice to speak with someone who is more my age.

The process was tough, but it is very pleasant to see progress. Xandra's approach is very personal. I felt seen and heard. I was really able to tackle the cause of my coaching question. Together we investigated at a deeper layer and did more than just look at the symptoms. The sessions were both physical and online and I have not noticed any difference between them.

In the meantime, I have gained many insights and found peace. I have got to know myself better; I know better what I like and live more according to my values. I listen to my feelings and body and can make choices more easily. I got off the express train and live more consciously. I can enjoy again and would definitely recommend coaching by Xandra!

Christine, Journalist

Xandra is open, sincere and enthusiastic. This immediately created a safe environment where I felt I could say anything. In addition Xandra was interested in my story and made me aware of my own body language. This gave beautiful insights.
During the exercises Xandra participated enthusiastically, which made me dare to do them without shame. The exercises gave me beautiful insights.
Xandra feels very well when you are in your head and caught me a number of times on this. By means of breathing exercises she brought me back to rest and to get back into the feeling. Very useful to be able to recognise these kinds of situations in daily life!

Felix Tan, business controller

Bjorn la Tulippe, Style Director

The conversations with Xandra were of great help to me. For a long time I walked around restlessly with my thoughts and emotions everywhere and nowhere, except where they were supposed to be. I struggled with insecure feelings that I could not place well or bring to rest. With the right exercises, I managed to do this for the most part! The other part came from the power to do; the coaching made me realise that if you want something, you really have to put your shoulders to it. Staying in your comfort zone isn't everything. And it feels so good to make steps and see progress. I can breathe again. Thanks a lot!

Bjorn la Tulippe, Style Director

With a course of action that was specially tailored to my situation, Xandra gave me the right tools to get out of a burn-out. With her help and perseverance I was able to find the energy to participate fully in life again.

Ivo Beek, data architect and entrepreneur
Ivo Beek, data architect and entrepreneur
Jess Bannister, English teacher

I want to say a huge thank you to Xandra for the coaching session she gave me. Throughout it, she was so gentle and kind. I felt safe to open up to her despite the delicate nature of the topics I was talking about.
She was very skilled at getting to the route of the issue and helping me to visualise the feelings I was experiencing. She was also incredibly patient when teaching me techniques and used humour as a tool to alleviate the anxiety.
She is incredible at what she does and has a real gift for helping people. Since the session, I have gone on to employ a lot of the techniques she gave me and will continue to do so in the future.

I got to know Xandra as a thorough coach during my coach training. She works from feeling and sensitivity and she quickly understands the problem of the client. In addition, Xandra is an open personality and is easily accessible and approachable as a coach.

Onno Meijlis, Team leader in healthcare

Training experiences

After 21 lessons with Xandra, I can truly say that her humanity, patience, and support throughout this process really made a difference. Having a teacher who works hard to understand your background and help you to level up your knowledge, in the best way possible during pandemic with online classes, is quite rare. Thanks to her I had the best learning experience.

Roberta Dessi, recruiter

I had the chance to work with Xandra during my business English course. Xandra has been a wonderful teacher, always available to help whenever needed. Precise when providing corrections, it's been a pleasure improving my English with her.

Gianmarco Nalin, senior backend developer

Very nice lessons business English b2+. Very good guidance and time is really given. Learned a lot!

Samantha van Dijk, finance administrator

I got to know Xandra at Business English Course through my work. Xandra is very friendly, enthusiastic and professional. She can explain well and motivate to become better. Top teacher. Definitely recommended.

Toma Fita, student

If you want to learn Business English in a friendly atmosphere and with a professional tutor, XvM Coaching is the right place for you. Xandra immediately gives you a trusted feeling so you look forward to English lessons every week.

Tamara van Vliet, student

Xandra provided us a Business English course of 10 lessons. The participants were enthusiastic about the approach. Xandra created a secure environment, where learning and having a laugh is perfectly combined.

Edith Oorsprong, HR Advisor

These reviews were issued in writing or online via LinkedIn.